How do you approach your feelings?
1. Do you avoid them?
2. Do you feel them? Are you them?
3. Do you get stuck in them?
1 is the worst
3 can be crippling
2 can be confusing
What do you do with your feelings? What do your feelings do with or to you?Having a philosophical foundation that says you basically SHOULD be grateful for life or the opportunity to exist, makes it that logically you should not have persisting negative states.
Some feelings become negative states because they are not honored.
Do you honor your sorrow?
Do you honor your sex?
Do you honor your anger?
Do you honor your expressiveness of these or other feelings?
This may be a difficult question because you may feel that your environment is the limiting factor.
Do you have loud sex? Would you have loud sex if the environmental factors were different? This is not a question to gloss over.
Do you have sex with the partners you’d want to have?
I have had attractions to so many people that were not acted upon due to fear.
I allowed fear to be more of a reality than courage. I allowed wrong thinking to produce fear.
What thinking produced my fear?
That I am not attractive enough, that I am not skilled enough, that sex is bad, that expressing attraction is weird, unpredictable etc… (who knows what thoughts produced it, but I now know that those thoughts were very wrong…)
Wrong thinking prevented joyous communion of sex.
It prevented hugging. Kissing. Touching. Intimacy. LOVE. And yes getting it in too.
It made my self esteem low. It made me lonely when there was companionship immediately available. It made me feel bored when there was EXCITEMENT AND ADVENTURE around the corner.
Did you know that plenty of people find parties intimidating? PARTIES. Those are supposed to be… THE FUNNEST THINGS EVER so why would someone be intimidated?
Do you avoid situations where you feel like you don’t fit in?
Are those situations you’d actually prefer to enjoy?
Small talk should not make you uncomfortable. Social situations should not make you uncomfortable.
You should enjoy communication. You should enjoy social situations.
Some feelings probably should be honored and others not.
Irrational fears should be replaced.
Physical feelings like fatigue or hunger should be honored.
But that’s just my idea.
And although there are some ideas that I “should” write very authoritatively at all times, perhaps it’s more realistic to just admit I DON’T KNOW. The more we allow I DON’T KNOW, the more freedom we have.
I KNOW = STUBBORN
If you know something, then you move on, you use that knowledge, you don’t get stuck on it.
Attitude and feelings are connected. Attitude can bring your feelings to new heights and keep you from wallowing in lows.
Philosophically, you should be grateful for life. YES I AM REPEATING THAT. It is worth repeating. It is still valuable. Life itself is still valuable. You must understand that. Feelings do change. The chemicals related to feelings change. It is natural. You can’t expect to feel the same all the time.
This is a good thing. It is valuable to know this – that feelings will change.
You can use that knowledge to not engage your mind
Do not make any excuses
Do not be stubborn about why you think things are the way they are… when you “KNOW” things aren’t the way you want them to be.
Make a change. Take a chance. Do something different. Get different results.
If you’re ready to make that change. Consider purchasing the full cure for blur package for $50.50
It includes the E-Book, Audio Program, and Consultation from myself David Hestrin.